Lost in San Francisco .....

I've been here for almost 9 months. How I've changed so much and for what? I still feel incomplete.  I can't even find a stable place to live.  I have to be out in April cause my current housing is up by then.  I really hope I land a place by then.  I can't go back to Missouri.  What would I do? My career would be destroyed.  I would be destroyed.  I want to throw in the towel but can't.  I have to at least try...

As happy and free on the outside I am. I cry and worry on the inside.  I'm tired of worrying....